By Tymmarah Anderson
Love really has a funny way of showing up when it wants to. I mean, there I was last year, crying over my ex and the trauma he left. If you told me then I’d now be dating the love of my life, I’d say to you there was a better chance of me skydiving with no parachute. Yet, here I am. It’s been a few months now since my boyfriend and I started dating exclusively, and well, I loved all wrong before him. I had a partnership all wrong before him. I had comfort and affection and respected all wrong before him. My ex left a pretty heavy footprint on my dating log, and for a long time, he was the example. Thank God he wasn’t the standard.
I have to admit, at first, I was skeptical. I would argue even now; there’s still a small part of me that suspects this is all too good to be true. What I do know for sure is, I have a new standard for love. There are a few things I’ve learned in this relationship that no other one has taught me:
If they want you, they’ll get you (and keep you). Whether they have $100 or $10, they’ll make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. My partner never lets me forget how special I am to him, whether verbal affirmations, acts of kindness, or gifts of love; I am constantly reminded that this is where he wants to be. Even when we argue, he handles me with so much compassion and respect, and he’s never willing to jeopardize our relationship for his ego.
Love isn’t hard, and it isn’t supposed to hurt. I used to think love was supposed to be this tremendous struggle. That crying all hours of the day, every day, proved how much I loved my ex. Boy, was I wrong. Loving my partner is so easy. We’re open, we’re honest, and most importantly, we trust. It’s not to say we don’t do things that make the other upset, but we choose to love, and happiness over pride and ego and resolution comes so much easier that way.
The right person makes you a better person. I am truly a better version of myself now that I’m with my partner. He pushes me to new heights in every way, and he’s the perfect complement to my soul.
Sometimes I still can’t believe it’s real, and as corny as it sounds, it does feel like a fairytale. Now make no mistake, he annoys the hell out of me sometimes, and I’m not naive to his flaws and imperfections. But honestly, they do not compare to his pure heart and fantastic character. God outdid himself with this one.
Tymmarah Anderson is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC.