Do You While Letting Love Find You

By Jasmine Kelly

We live in a society that desires instant gratification; we want what we want, and we want it now. Nowadays, our heart’s desires are literally in the palm of our hands. Technology enables us to have groceries, auxiliary services, and even sex delivered right to our front doors. Waiting is becoming a thing of the past. Unfortunately, matters of the heart are a bit different, very different.

Between city boys, city girls, having a hot girl summer and being boo’d up, it seems as if there is pressure at any end of the societal spectrum. Not for nothing, no one wants to be alone. However, I do think that there is something to be said of enjoying yourself completely until love finds you. I am sure that some may take offense to that previous sentence because I understand that as a society, we are very calculated with things such as careers, education, finances, you name it. However, when it comes to love; the right person is supposed to “magically appear.” Of course, nothing happens like a fairy-tale. But what if I told you to not be so pressed and to just relax and do you until your time comes? Sit with that for a moment. I am not telling you to not be intentional about the idea of a potential mate for yourself. What I am telling you is to not be so anxious in the process. Think about when you have observed someone in the throws of doing something that they love and thought to yourself Wow, they are very beautiful deep in their passion. The work is you, sis! I want you to exude the glow you get by becoming your higher self. Here are some ways to reach your own personal Nirvana while waiting for that special someone:

Be picky: You are like a kid in the candy store right now! Red ones, green ones, blue ones, beards, fades, goatees! Until you encounter your mate, now is the time for you to know the type of person you want to surround yourself with and who you don’t. Make a list of the qualities that you cannot live without and other non-negotiables. By doing so, you can approach your love life with a sense of direction and purpose for yourself.

Find yourself: The most beautiful thing about life is that we do not have to be the same person that we were yesterday or even a second ago for that matter. While you have the advantage of considering only yourself, really get to know you. I mean really get to know you. Discover your goals and ambitions; understand what scares you and what makes you feel free. The best relationship is the one that you have with yourself. Once you are rooted as a person and when your partner does arrive, you will be able to thrive in that connection as your whole self.

Find your “thing:” We all have something that we enjoy doing. I enjoy randomly going to Target and driving around the city when I am bored. What is your “thing?” Now is the time to focus on something in your life that gets your energy pumping. Whatever you discover, now is the time for you to focus on it as much as you want for as long as you want. P.S. You do not have to give up your thing once you find companionship.

Have good sex: You read that right, have yourself some good sex, sis! Throw on the Fenty  (the makeup, the lingerie, your pick!) and call your best partner! It goes without saying that you SURELY will discover some new aspects about yourself in this arena. Alone does not have to mean lonely.

Say yes: Floetry was on to something with this one. Take advantage of opportunities by simply saying, “yes!” Regardless of how intimidating or trivial the matter may seem to you, open yourself up to new opportunities and growth by being ready and willing. You will discover aspects of your life and personality that you didn’t even know exist.


Jasmine Kelly is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Jasmine is a higher education professional who believes in the powers of Black Twitter. You can follow her on Instagram @chicomydusty.

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