By Chanel Davis
Sometimes I find it hard to pray through certain things, if I can be honest. People view black women as being the strong tower that can never waiver. The provider that a single mother has to be, the household glue for the stay -at- home mom and wife, the strong-willed one while being the only minority on staff at work. It is so exhausting at times. Especially among the other things we have to carry.
But spiritually speaking, I believe we were all equipped to endure and have our Lord and savior by our side. However, sometimes the going gets so tough that you just want to shut down (not quit because we ain’t no punks!). You want to just go to a place that gives us peace in an ever-changing world and more specifically, an American society that depicts us as warriors with “attitudes.” This depiction often gets misconstrued when in actuality, we are simply beautiful beings who have the innate drive and fight of a conqueror. Is it really too much to ask that the world would just get that part right more often?
Often times I personally feel that praying through the process does get tough, but I am also reminded that Jesus did not give up on me so I won’t give up on him. No matter how hard the test gets, how unbearable some family members can be, how some friends can come and go and only take, how one-sided relationships, both platonic and romantic, are leaving you emotionally and mentally drained without ever returning what you’ve given. I trust him even in the midst of all I am dealing with.
I am going through a season of self-discovery and finding my purpose (fair warning, you will hear me say this a LOT) as God is molding me into the woman he has created me to be. Despite trying to do things on my own, leading my own life (well, trying to), and not following God’s word, I am constantly learning the spirit of discernment to determine what is and isn’t for me. Knowing when to let go and when to be patient. It ain’t easy, sister. But hold your head up with me as we go through this thing called life together and uplift and encourage one another.
Now I don’t consider myself a preacher or evangelist, but I am a child of God. I want to encourage you, as well as remind myself, that there is a purpose at the end of each process and a lesson of understanding.
I was sitting here at work listening to one of my favorites, Pastor and delegation leader for Woman Evolve, Sarah Jakes Roberts preaching on Pentecost Sunday at the The Potter’s House in Dallas, TX. Her sermon is titled, “Unfinished Business“, and I highly recommend it. It will change your life, okay?!
During this sermon, sis said something that struck me to clap and lift my hands at work and was the perfect reminder. She stated:
“You don’t get what you pray for, you get what you wait for.”
Hallelujah! If that statement wasn’t the Holy Spirit speaking to me then I don’t know what it was! It was a perfect reminder that even while we face these hard times of struggling with our identity in Christ and praying through the process, remember that God specifically chose you at this very moment to go through this season. He chose you to endure all that he has ordained to get you along the path he has set for you.
My stepdad always reminds me that this process I am going through of finding myself and my purpose is so intentional. It is preparing me for what is in store in my next season. Everything that went wrong in my past and failed all happened for a reason to get me to the path that Christ has designed for me. No matter how many times I try to run or rush the process, God will lead you right back to where you started each time. He will circle you back until you get the purpose of what you endured and not only to learn from it but also to grow from what he brought you out of.
Ya’ll, my parents be preaching some holy tea! True story!
So what I want you all to remember is this. Don’t worry. It WILL get better and don’t give up. Know you were created for this, sis! I’ve got your back in prayer and we will get through this together.
Diary of a Chocolate Girl
Chanel Davis is a Pedestal Project, LLC reader, and guest contributor. Be sure to connect with her on Instagram (@Purfectf4shi0n) and check out her podcasts on Facebook and Instagram (@DiaryOfAChocolateGirl).