By Madalyn McKnight
The K. Dot and Rihanna song Loyalty is one of my faves, and a recent twitter binge that asked each horoscope a question really made me think. Quarantine thoughts sent me on a tangent, and I decided to write it out was both therapeutic and eye-opening. The question for Aquarius’ was, “Why do you give loyalty to those who do not deserve it”? That is a very toxic trait of mine. I used to hide behind the mantra that God wants us to give the ones we love our entire selves. However, that only works if that love and loyalty are being given in return.
Hear me out…
I have spent years giving blind loyalty to those who are unwilling to give the same in return and I am tired of it. My mantra of keeping that same energy is uncomfortable for me but necessary. Loyalty should be earned and not given just because. My relationships are work and as long as both parties do not lose sight of that, that loyalty will be freely given. I say this not because I am vain but because heartbreaks in my life have felt gut-wrenching and soul-shaking so I try to avoid that as much as possible. I simply deserve more than I’ve been given. What I bring to relationships is invaluable. I go out of my way to make the people in my life feel special, and it genuinely makes me happy. For my own sanity and mental health, my loyalty has to be under lock and key.
To anyone reading this, if you do not feel valued in your relationships, intimate, platonic and even familial, please make changes. Start by expressing yourself to that person or people so that they know exactly what’s going on. I have learned not to hold somebody responsible for the emotions and feelings they have no idea that you have. Also, if you have to exit, be smart. Do not let impulsivity undo something that you really do not want to be undone. And be honest with yourself. To paraphrase Katt Williams, “Be in tune with your star player.” Keeping a level head helps you better manage emotions in the long run. I am seeking therapy to find better coping mechanisms that work for me and will strengthen my relationships.
Last but not least, keeping protect your loyalty, sanity, peace, and heart. By any means necessary.
Madalyn McKnight is a Contributing Writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. A rare blackbird who has the range and a young black professional with impactful words! Follow her on Instagram and Facebook at @singsongblackbird and twitter @singsongblckbrd