By Jasmine Kelly
Forgiveness has been showing up in my life a lot lately and to be honest, I thought I was good at it. I am not. My version of forgiveness means forgiving the incident that occurred but keeping a mental note of what that person did. I know right?! That is not forgiveness at all!
When I mention forgiveness, I am not talking about the biblical kind. I am talking about the kind of forgiveness that sets you and your mental health free. Even though I am a firm believer in God, oftentimes I feel like forgiveness is framed as an obligation in the Bible when we may not naturally be ready to do that.
Recently an old friend reached out to me to apologize for their wrongdoings. I was sincerely surprised because all along I wanted our friendship to work. However, due to the way a situation was handled, I decided to stop talking to them. I have not been in communication with that person for seven months. Their apology was sincere, humble, and honest. I immediately knew I wanted to move forward on a new note. It was not my desire to hold that person in a mental prison and to be honest, I missed my friend. I am glad that they apologized first because honestly, I did not have it in me.
I realized that my forgiveness was not truly forgiving, and it honestly weighed on me. It takes a lot of energy for me to harbor what people have done to me because I know they aren’t thinking about their actions. I realized that forgiving people of their wrongdoings allows me to move on with my life. After all, people’s actions have nothing to do with you. I learned that people only operate from their frame of view; which is personal.
I am speaking solely from my experience. I do understand that people can do some really messed up stuff so this is not “one of those” articles. I am just saying take a look at certain situations that have hurt you and determine if you are the one that is holding you back.
Jasmine Kelly is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Jasmine is a higher education professional who believes in the powers of Black Twitter. You can follow her on Instagram @chicomydusty.