Free Yourself with Forgiveness

By Jasmine Kelly

Forgiveness has been showing up in my life a lot lately and to be honest, I thought I was good at it. I am not. My version of forgiveness means forgiving the incident that occurred but keeping a mental note of what that person did. I know right?! That is not forgiveness at all!

When I mention forgiveness, I am not talking about the biblical kind. I am talking about the kind of forgiveness that sets you and your mental health free. Even though I am a firm believer in God, oftentimes I feel like forgiveness is framed as an obligation in the Bible when we may not naturally be ready to do that.

jazmin-quaynor-cmSa1Gs-FTQ-unsplashRecently an old friend reached out to me to apologize for their wrongdoings. I was sincerely surprised because all along I wanted our friendship to work. However, due to the way a situation was handled, I decided to stop talking to them. I have not been in communication with that person for seven months. Their apology was sincere, humble, and honest. I immediately knew I wanted to move forward on a new note. It was not my desire to hold that person in a mental prison and to be honest, I missed my friend. I am glad that they apologized first because honestly, I did not have it in me.

I realized that my forgiveness was not truly forgiving, and it honestly weighed on me. It takes a lot of energy for me to harbor what people have done to me because I know they aren’t thinking about their actions. I realized that forgiving people of their wrongdoings allows me to move on with my life. After all, people’s actions have nothing to do with you. I learned that people only operate from their frame of view; which is personal.

I am speaking solely from my experience. I do understand that people can do some really messed up stuff so this is not “one of those” articles. I am just saying take a look at certain situations that have hurt you and determine if you are the one that is holding you back.


Jasmine Kelly is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Jasmine is a higher education professional who believes in the powers of Black Twitter. You can follow her on Instagram @chicomydusty.

Featured Header image byTyrell Charles/ Article Image by Jazmin Quaynor

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