By Nikita Haynie
Mercury retrograde is over and whew it kicked my behind something serious! The moment you align yourself with self-love, self-care, and growth opposing forces come head on. These opposing forces arrive in all forms (people, places, things, etc). Recently after experiencing friction in my personal life a great friend of mine (shout out to my sorority sister and great friend Paige Freeman) had to remind me: “Keep your same energy sis!” Keep that same energy can hold a plethora of meanings, and according to the urban dictionary it’s defined: Desiring for another individual to continue to act (in terms of attitude, in relation to actions) the way they were acting during a previous encounter. Although it’s easy to return someone’s attitude with an even bigger exchange of attitude; the next time you’re ready to cue Act Up by City Girls consider these perspectives:
Your blessings don’t come from treating others the way they engage you. It’s so easy to stoop to a petty or shady level; however, in the moment you may feel good but essentially you have allowed someone else’s immaturity or lack of emotional intelligence to alter your character. In my former years I stayed ready to let someone know where they could go and how but in my growth I realized there is more power in the self-discipline of not allowing others actions to control me. Proverbs 26:4 says, “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.”
Hurt people hurt people. Pray for them. Usually when someone is giving negative energy it has more to do with them than you. One of the most powerful things you can do for someone even a “enemy” or “hater” is petition to God for them in prayer. We all have experiences and traumas we’re healing from, some we’re willing to openly discuss others we’re not. Sometimes how we show up with others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, it’s our defense mechanism. “But Nikita I’m not praying for someone that doesn’t like me!” I get it but prayer can change any situation even the heart of a hard core hater. Matthew 5:44, “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” (NLT). Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean you endure someone’s mistreatment but instead of bringing unnecessary negative energy in your space, you pray from a distance.
Choose your battles wisely, what you give energy to grows. The bottom line is this: Everything doesn’t deserve a reaction from you. When you know who you are even more importantly who someone else is you govern yourself accordingly. The energy you expend is energy you could be investing in more productive and purposeful causes. I believe in productive conflict resolution and management; however, there are times when it is what it is and you keep it moving.
As you go into this new season remember that you can only control you. Don’t let anything or anyone disrupt the growth you’ve undergone and remember: KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY SIS!
Blessings, love and light.
Nikita Haynie is an Assistant Editor for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Nikita is a writer, author, and educator. She is a creative that writes content intersecting faith, black womanhood, and culture. Proud optimist. Follow her on Instagram: @thenikitahaynie. Check her out at NikitaHaynie.com