By Chanel Davis
Ever see the people around you doing all the things you wish and aspire to have and experience?
Often I sit and wonder what life would be like if I made different choices in dating. Not by any means coming from a place of envy or jealousy, but from a place of curiosity. From previously being a “relationship” type of girl, I can’t help but wonder did I waste time with certain individuals long after our expiration date. From being cheated on, hit in retaliation (yes, physically), and back and forth with “I’m going to treat you how you treat me,” I have grown to have a whole new outlook on who I am and what is my worth.
The more seasoned I get in this lifetime, the more I have become resistant in entertaining friendships and relationships that serve no purpose and don’t give me the same effort I have put in. From college friends to potential baes, I am protecting my peace and joy and refuse to settle any longer in hopes of being like everyone else around me.
From time to time, I feel we all sit back and wonder about the ‘what if’s’ and things we could have done differently. The older I get, the more I realize that I could not have become the woman I am today without all the mistakes and lessons I have had to endure. We are all shaped through life’s experiences. While some lessons are harder than others, there’s a significant beauty in each one.
With the help of my faith and through depending on my religion, I have become more secure in myself and clear on what I need/deserve. From exes who have tried to personally break me, I rose from my ashes of pain and disappointment like a phoenix and am just getting started with my glow up. I am more vocal in my needs/wants, more ambitious, taking more chances and leaps of faith in my career and getting closer to God because I know whose I am.
I recently attended a Sunday morning service at New Life City of Praise lead by recording artist and Pastor John P Kee and he said something that resonated well with me: “When you see someone reaping their harvest, don’t get jealous. Just look at them and smile and say, “I am inspired.” I am so happy to see loved ones and those close to me flourish and succeed and realize more that I am surrounded by others who not only push but inspire me to be the best individual I can be.
So today, I challenge you to be the best version of yourself no matter where you started and what you have been through. We each have a harvest season on the way. So, sis, keep your head up and know that all your struggles and lessons are being put into perspective to birth the best version of you. Ladies (and gents if you’re reading this) who can relate, take comfort in being single and take advantage of this time to explore, encourage and inspire the next.
That’s all that should matter, right?
Chanel Davis is a Pedestal Project, LLC reader, and guest contributor. Be sure to connect with her on Instagram (@Purfectf4shi0n) and check out her podcasts on Facebook and Instagram (@DiaryOfAChocolateGirl).