Dear Black Men, We Need You

By Latasha McGill

There is a plethora of black women whom have adopted the philosophy “I don’t need a man.” Maybe this notion comes from a place of brokenness, or from never witnessing and/or experiencing a healthy relationship. There are multiple reasons why a woman may feel she doesn’t need a man. Furthermore, as of the last decade, women have leveled up in all areas of their lives and the last thing they want to do, is deal with drama and negative energy from men.

I get it. I have often said that dating is harder than taking a calculus class. Many of us black women have been misused, abused, accused and not loved the right way by those whom we have loved all the way. This cycle of love gone wrong can turn a woman off from wanting to take a chance on love again. Some women have either taken a break from the dating world or they are casually dating with no expectations and no ‘dating with a purpose’ mindset.

couple-cute-devon-carter-812258And then there are those of us who are so focused on taking care of ourselves holistically. The focus is on being better, doing better and attracting better. And, it is wonderful! Women are starting to take better care of themselves mind, body and soul. We are at a stage in our lives where we realize it’s okay if we put ourselves first sometimes and make our total health a priority.  However, guys- don’t let the self-care, self-love movement have you believing that we don’t need and/or desire you. The truth of the matter is, after we are done with our mani/pedi, taking ourselves out to eat, reading our self-help books, posting our cute selfies and working out, WE STILL NEED YOU! Don’t get me wrong, we are enjoying the positive energy we exude and the level of greatness we are rising to. But at the end of the day, some of us still yearn to lay on your chest and tell you about our day.


Self-care for today’s woman does not mean we desire to be alone. It means we are taking care of us so that when you do come along, you will know how to love us. We can’t expect for you to love us the right way if we don’t know how to love ourselves the right way. We fantasize about you laying hands on us in the morning and praying with us and laying hands on us at night caressing us. After everything we’ve been through, we still believe in the power, plight and passion of the black man, black love, and we yearn for it. We want you all as black men to embrace us for our growth, love us because we love you and be there for us because we will be there for you. We understand your needs and we want you to be patient and compassionate with us. We, as black women, desire to love you so hard, until you forget the world is against you. We don’t want to fight against your dreams; we want to help you bring them to pass. Black women are a movement by themselves, but with black men, we are a force. We just want you all to step up, level up and don’t give up on us because after everything our hearts have been through, we still need, love and want you.


Latasha “Tasha Mac” McGill is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Tasha Mac is a grammar geek who is obsessed with coffee, high heels, lipstick, 90s R&B and Comic book movies. She is also a vegetarian whose idea of “turning up” is being in bed by 9pm, working out, watching HGTV and reading a book.

Connect with her on Facebook @ Latasha McGill, on Instagram @ TashaMac523, on Twitter @ LadyT523 

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