Love Yourz

By Aaliyah Moore

I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to wrap my mind around the news of Miss USA 2019, Cheslie Kryst. Prior to hearing about her death, I didn’t know much about Cheslie. But like many other people I know, I instantly went to her Instagram page to dig a little deeper. What I was met with was a page full of beautiful, smiling pictures of someone who looked like she “had it all together”. She had titles, accolades, thousands of likes, and comments, so surely that was enough, right?

What’s crazy is that my first instinct was to go to her socials to learn more, as if social media is the means by which we learn everything there is to know about a person. I think it’s fair to say that we all fall subject to this, and now more than ever, I’ve been thinking about the ways our mind is impacted by what we see on social media. All week long I’ve read posts like, “you never know what a person is going through, or you can’t judge a person by what you see,” and yes these statements are true.

But I think it’s time that we all examine our connection to social media. I know for me personally, my connection to it hasn’t always been the healthiest. For example in my single season, I would sometimes see what “appeared to be” happy couples all up and down my timeline, and I remember getting down on myself because I felt like I lacked because I didn’t have a partner. I’ve talked with so many people who struggle to see other people’s success because they believe it says something about their worth. Sad but true, so many of us let social media dictate how we choose to feel about ourselves and this must be stopped.

In my personal life whenever I’ve caught myself comparing my reality to someone’s highlight reel, I have had to stop and remind myself of all the things that are wonderful about my life. Spending time being mindful in this regard has helped, because just like other people have great things happening for them, so do I.

One of my favorite quotes that supports this thought is,

” If you always think your happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

And I could not agree more. Truth be told, none of us really share the hard trying moments we face, because there is something about being liked and accepted that sometimes makes us hide all of our “truths.”

As J. Cole once said,

“Always gon’ be a whip that’s better than the one you got,

Always gon’ be some clothes that’s fresher than the one’s you rock,

Always gon’ be a b**** that’s badder out there on the tours,

But you ain’t ever gon’ be happy ’til you love yours.”

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Aaliyah Moore is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC.