By Latasha McGill
No one wants to admit that they’re toxic. I get it. When we hear the word toxic, we immediately think of people who have hurt us, narcissistic people, messy co-workers, and/or family members who always keep up drama.
It was hard for me to realize I was toxic. After all, I’m a good person. I love genuinely, and I do all I can for others, especially those I love. So, how could I ever be toxic? One day, I reflected on all the hurt I’d been through, all the bad relationships I’ve had. Then it occurred that I had to change some things about myself. I started questioning why I was drawn to toxic people? The answer was simple. Because I, myself, was indeed toxic. Whew, child, talk about a pill to swallow. That was difficult to admit. However, it was detrimental to my healing journey.
I was not taking care of myself. I was not loving myself wholly and completely. I could not have been. Otherwise, I would never have stayed in unhealthy relationships for as long as I did. And it’s not just romantic relationships. I’ve remained in friendships, memberships, and jobs that no longer served me or added value to me, and therefore those situations became toxic. Because I was afraid to leave for one reason or another, that toxicity became a part of me. My healing journey further revealed that my toxic nature began in my mind. The negative thoughts and feelings I had about myself and my doubts and fears fostered my toxic nature, which is why I was so quickly drawn to other toxic people. When we say and believe negative things about ourselves, it creates an environment of toxicity. It leaves you vulnerable for people to take advantage of and use you.
When I was toxic, I had no boundaries. I held a lot in, which was unhealthy. I didn’t execute my voice, nor did I advocate for myself in a way that honored me and my core beliefs. Thankfully, I can honestly say that I am no longer toxic. What I think of myself, the way I feel about myself is all positive, beautiful, and healthy. I do not do anything I don’t want to do. I have established and maintained healthy boundaries. I honor myself by showing up in excellence for me. It took a lot for me to get here, and it takes a lot to stay here. One of the things I did, and we all must do to rid ourselves of our toxic nature, is to forgive ourselves. I forgave myself for everything I felt guilty about, everything I was ashamed of. When you forgive yourself, no one can use anything from your past to hurt you because it doesn’t matter anymore. Whatever happened back then is back there. It’s over, and you’ve moved on.
When you admit you’re toxic, you are freeing yourself, breaking generational curses, breaking chains, healing yourself, and walking into a brighter future. Trust me, I know. My relationships are healthy because I’m healthy. Whatever you think is what you become and what you attract. You have the power to free yourself; you have to be willing to do so.
Latasha McGill is a Contributing Writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Tasha Mac is a mom of four adult daughters, a vegan, and a workout junkie who lives by the mantra Whole Person Healthy. It is her journey of total wellness in all areas of life. She enjoys encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring people to discover their own journey of total wellness and seek wholeness and freedom every day. Her favorite guilty pleasure is veggie chips with hummus or guacamole.