By Chanel Davis
Everyone has heard the saying, “bird of a feather flock together,” before and either agreed or got offended. I was once one who often got offended by this statement. It was usually due to feeling as if someone was judging me and my choices. I later sat and evaluated those I chose to hang around and what benefit there was. The only thing I could come up with was because it was “just fun.” Not because I was learning or growing as an individual or because I agreed with the choices they made as individuals. I did not have a solid, accredited reason.
What brought my mind back to this topic is hearing a quote a few weeks ago. The quote made me sit back and say, “WOW: “You are the average of the five people you interact with the most.”
I recanted thoughts of my strong feelings, I can hang around anyone, and it not be a direct reflection of who I am as a person. Wrong. I tended to hang around specific individuals because it became a comfort. A comfort that I was ok with choosing because it was easier than admitting and confronting my weakness to accept change was needed. I can only assume everyone has had that one close friend or relationship where you often disagreed with their lifestyle. Whether it was the way they handled conflict or how they chose to spend every weekend. You always thought of how you would do things differently if you were in their shoes, until the day the same where you were exactly in their shoes without realizing that you had changed to adjust to that which you frequently chose to be around.
Once I realized I wanted different things than the circle I was used to, I started to feel uncomfortable. I began to feel as if I did not belong in those same places. Not only that, but I also started to crave different things. Having that realization that I wanted different things, I had to start consciously changing my habits. The way I carried myself, being more aware of what I had to lose and changing my language. You may say that those are easy things to change. But changing some things you have been comfortable doing for years that you did not even realize you did is not easy work.
Sometimes you can feel yourself wanting to go back to what was comfortable even if it was uncomfortable as long as it was familiar.
Once I decided to start holding myself accountable for the way my life was in that moment and that I was the one holding the door closed, I became unsatisfied with the bare minimum.
To elevate, I had to reconnect mentally and spiritually to align with my purpose. Along with that, not everyone I encountered and attached myself to previously needed a ticket of admittance to the next season of my life. I changed my mind on what I wanted, and naturally, my circle changed. Those who are more aligned with my goals, ambition level, spiritual commitment, and happiness surround me. Also, changing my number played a big part in leaving the past in the past. So I challenge you to assess your present and envision if it will be beneficial to your future.
Sometimes your surroundings are a hindrance to your greatness.
Chanel Davis is a Contributing Writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Chanel is the creator and operator of the Diary Of A Chocolate Girl podcast aiming to connect with chocolate girls all over through personal experiences and opinions with mild humor and a spiritual flare. Be sure to connect on IG and Facebook @DiaryofaChocolateGirl