You’re Not Missing Out, Sis

By Aaliyah Moore

This is my first semester in a doctoral program. Clearly, this isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to being a student, but it certainly is my first time juggling a full-time job, all while being in the middle of a global pandemic. I knew that working and going to school would be a challenge, but I don’t think I was prepared to wear me out in the way it has.

Because of my increasing workload, I’ve found myself having to say no to spending time with my family and friends on the weekends. And while I know that the sacrifice will eventually pay off, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I sometimes sit at home in my feelings because I feel like I’m “missing out.”

Have you ever felt like that? Like everybody else is out enjoying life, but you? Well, there’s a name for that feeling, and it’s called FOMO, or fear of missing out.

FOMO feels that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. And because access to everyone’s life has become more prevalent through social media, it can seem like you are missing out if you’re not doing what everyone else is doing at the time. It may not seem to affect you at first, but I’ve learned that overindulgence in everyone else’s life can sometimes make you lose sight of all the significant things that are going on in your life.

In this season of idleness, I have had to remind myself that being a student is one of my top priorities right now, and because of that, there are some things I’m just going to have to miss out on. I have also been working to shift my thinking and not view this alone time from a deficit mindset. This journey may seem lonely, but I am also working towards a significant goal, and it’s teaching me many vital lessons about myself.

This season is also teaching me that discipline is the strongest form of self-love because it’s ignoring current pleasures for more significant rewards to come. One of my favorite quotes is, “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.”

Listen, you don’t always have to be on the scene to prove that you’re working. Continue to build and grind in silence because one day, the work will speak for itself.