By Madalyn McKnight
I am proud of the woman that I am now. I am even prouder that the woman I am now is better than I was a year ago. Now, I am not a completely different person, but I am better. I’ve been intentional about being a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better girlfriend, and a better Black American. Six months ago, I would have figured that everything that has transpired since 2020 got here was a work of fiction. This has been the craziest series of events and unfortunately has set a lot of people back financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I am in a better spot than I was a few weeks ago, but I literally have to take it day by day. I love being Black, but it’s hard being Black. Having to deal with everything that Black people already deal with but now under a magnifying glass has caused a constant state of anger and turmoil. I am clinging to those I love harder than ever before. I am better because I have had no choice but to confront some things I have personally been struggling with. I have not hidden my face from what’s happening. I cannot run from it, but I am learning to step away when I need to.
In spite of it all, I am still hopeful. Hopeful that although Black people are still in the throughs of war that we are fighting hard and making headway with some of the battles we are facing now. Thankful that people rallied around the families of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, but sad our trans sisters and brothers still do not get the attention they deserve. So glad that confederate statues are being destroyed all over the country, but still sad that the governor of Mississippi is dragging his feet on calls to change the state flag. So glad that we are standing firm in #Blacklivesmatter but sad to see videos of Black women being assaulted in public by Black men. We are inching forward and are striving uphill, but we are moving in the right direction and that is where my hope lies. So, I am still claiming a happy new year. We have had tremendous losses but tremendous wins. I am still claiming everything that God has for me.
When I reflect over the next six months, I pray that there are more positive than negative comments I will make. I encourage everyone to cling to their village, and if you need help, please seek it out, and ask for resources. There is somebody for everybody. Nothing is new under the sun and there is someone else who has the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions. What you are feeling is new and real to you, but I can promise you that there is something out there that will help you get through it. Step back, take a breather, and do what you need to do!
Madalyn McKnight is a Contributing Writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. A rare blackbird who has the range and a young black professional with impactful words! Follow her on Instagram and Facebook at @singsongblackbird and twitter @singsongblckbrd