What’s Love Got To Do With It?

By Tymmarah Anderson 

Have you ever said “I love you” to your date by accident? 

Whew, embarrassed is an understatement! Of all the ways I could’ve goofed up on a first date, this one was definitely top of the list.

I SWEAR it was an accident – like muscle memory almost. It’s so natural for me to end every conversation or interaction I have with a close friend or loved one by saying “I love you.” While I wouldn’t consider us close friends in the same way that I would my platonic relationships, the bond we share feels pretty close. 

We’ve been dating for a few months, but he travels a lot for work so our first official date was pretty recently. I’ll spare the nitty, gritty details but SHEESH, it was the most thoughtful and romantic date that I’d ever been on – and the most creative given we’re in the middle of a global pandemic and shutdown. I’ve been in two 1+ year relationships and had never experienced anything close to it (let that sink in). 

We spent the entire day together and it felt so effortless; like I was hanging out with my best friend. I think that’s why “I love you” came out of my mouth so easily as I was getting out of the car. It’s not something I thought about at all, it just…happened.

I didn’t even realize what I had said until minutes after the fact, but once it hit me, I could’ve died where I stood. I thought to myself, “way to screw things up.” I turned around with the most shameful look on my face and said “I didn’t mean to say that.” Of course, being the kind soul he is – to save me some embarrassment – he tried to pretend like he didn’t know what I was talking about, but the jig was up. I knew he heard it. 

Eventually, we talked about it later that day and he completely understood where I was coming from once I explained it. But there was a part of me deep down that wondered if any part of my accidental outburst was… true. We’ll see.

Tymmarah Anderson is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC.