By Ke’Ana Lampkins
Sex on this show was very interesting. Most shows cut to a random sex scene just because but on Little Fires every romance scene seemed very intentional.
While Pearl and Lexie seemed to be trying to figure out what they wanted, were attracted to, and even their voices sexually. Elena and Mia seemed to know exactly what they wanted and were in full control of their bodies. From Elena’s bizarre schedule she kept with her husband, and Mia’s random sexcapades, they were always on top. They were always in control of their bodies and had sex on their own terms.
Lexie and Pearl, however, were the exact opposite. Lexie began the show with wanting to wait until Prom. Not exactly sure, she and her boyfriend Reggie compared their timeline to friends of theirs. Although she pushed off her boyfriend’s sexual advances in the beginning. When she realized her boyfriend might be losing interest due to greater differences in their character and their values, she decided to give it up.
Pearl, on the other hand, spent a lot of time with Moody. Although she seemed to be building a relationship with Moody, she also seemed very actively trying to purse the bother Trip in a more romantic way. Her dynamic between the two bothers was really interesting because it seemed like Moody would be the no brainer because he so obviously liked her. But he wasn’t. She didn’t seem attracted to him as she was to Trip. At some point, she very purposely throws herself at Trip, even when he knows how his brother feels about her. Very similar to Lexie, it seemed that she did it to gain his interest in her because let’s be honest Trip wasn’t paying too much attention to her before that.
All of this back story leads me to this: we do not owe them our bodies. Lexie and Pearl’s story of adolescence and sex is a very common one that not many of us are willing to admit. When you’re coming of age your body is raging with hormones and it can lead you to make a lot of decisions that you may or may not regret later down the road. That part is okay, we all have been there, and we’ve all gone through it. But the part that isn’t okay, is not learning from our mistakes. Too often we offer up our bodies as a prize. They buy us a drink in expectation of something in return, or whatever “nice” gesture they offer up.
Too often our bodies are seen as something to gain or something to conquer and as women, sometimes we feel we owe it to them. Or we’re too afraid they won’t “like us anymore”.
Our fear of being alone or unliked has led us in a direction of pain and even more loneliness. I have so many memories from teen years and even college trying to navigate the many waters of men and feeling “loved” or even “liked”.
Of course, you have your hormones that play a part in it “feeling good” but for women that usually isn’t our first desire. It’s the feeling wanted part that gets us, and almost too often we’re willing to give up more than we receive in the long run.
Remember ladies: we don’t owe ANYONE, anything. Do things on your own timeline, and do things when they feel right to you. See if the potential suitor is worth your jewels and at the first sign of a red flag, protect your body, and your heart, because they only belong to you, and they are yours first and always.
Ke’Ana Lampkins is a contributing writer for The Pedestal Project, LLC. Ke’Ana is a Christian, wife, and mother dedicated to empowering young girls and women through counseling, mentorship, and education. Connect with her on Instagram @Beautifully_Yanni.