But Am I a Good Friend?

By: Aaliyah Moore

I can say I have some really good friends. Friends who show up for me, ask me how I’m doing, and make space to hear me. I’ve previously written about how much of a whirlwind this past year of my life has been, and I contribute being able to get through it not just to growing closer to God, but to also being able to lean on my friends. During this time, my friends have called/ texted daily to check on me, and have even driven me to appointments with my therapist. Now that’s real love. The ways in which they’ve been there for me has really made me reflect on how good of a friend I am when the shoe is on the other foot.

We think a lot about how we show up for mates in our romantic relationships, but I think it’s equally important to assess how we show up in our platonic relationships as well.

I developed a friend assessment to help me determine how well I’m doing, and the areas that could use a little work.

Friend Assessment

• Do I make myself available when my friends need me?
• Do I call/ text to check on them instead of relying on them to always reach out first?
• Do I thoroughly listen when they’re speaking, not being quick to interject with my thoughts and personal experiences?
• Am I honest with them?
• Do I celebrate their growth and accomplishments?

I encourage you to ask yourself these questions from time to time. And if you’re not showing up for your friends as you should, I think it’s important to be able to have healthy conversations with them about what you can do to improve the quality of the friendship. I recognize there are times when it’s not easy to show up for others in the way they may need us to because we are dealing with our own stuff. That’s why communication is so important! Let’s make one-sided friendships a thing of the past, and show up for those who have shown up for us.

Aaliyah Moore is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Aaliyah enjoys spending time with her family and is a lover of food, writing, and Quartet Gospel music. She is a higher education professional and loves the impact she gets to make in the lives of college students, every day. You can follow her on Instagram @aaliyah.m.moore.