By Marlene Goldman
I used to crave being “normal.” So much about my life felt abnormal, especially in how I expressed myself. As a child, I was extremely shy and definitely a Mama’s girl. Now, I’m very vocal, a bit loud, and I love chatting with others. I started coming out of my shy ways as an adolescent, but I didn’t begin to embrace who I am until much later in life. This was primarily due to other’s perceptions. As I started finding my voice & exploring how I wanted to express myself, I can remember the looks people would give me if I didn’t fit into their definition of who I should be. It got to the point where I felt like I was “weird.” It didn’t help that I often wasn’t surrounded by people who looked like me. I reflect on these experiences, and it pains me to know that I wasted time worried about other people.
Because….for what?! Why worry about what the next person is doing? If they aren’t feeding me, financing me….and y’all know the rest, then some other person’s opinion doesn’t matter. I’ve been in situations feeling like I’m not “polished” enough to talk to someone, which has never been the case. My credentials, ethics, and passion do not change just because of who I am and how I decide to express myself.
So yes, I’m not going to shy away from stating something is not working, and I’m going to dance in my seat when the food is the bomb. Oh, and yes, if the song is good, I will sing along (at least I can carry a note!) Currently, I have bright, Barbie pink nails and purple hair. None of that changes my kind heart, the attention I give to details, or the big picture ideas I have to help change the world. The same thing goes for you, girl! If you are someone who feels like you have to fit into some mold, I promise you that you don’t. Be loud, or quiet, or a mix in between the two. Say what you have to say, or journal if you don’t feel quite ready to speak out loud. Either way, don’t be ashamed of who you are and talk yo’ ish! After all, Black Women simply cannot lose.
Marlene Goldman is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC who loves a good outfit with a cupcake to match. If you’re looking for a better start to your Mondays, follow her on Instagram @mondayswithmarlene
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