By Aaliyah Moore
Growing up, I was a daddy’s girl. I clung to my daddy because of a mutual love for music and singing. I always knew that my Mama loved me, but our relationship looked different. Mama was stern, and she was vocal, whereas my dad was laid back and easygoing. If I wanted to be told what I wanted to hear, I went to my dad. On the other hand, my Mama has always been a straight shooter, and she’s always told it like it is.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve spent time with my friends and have often paid attention to their relationships with their moms. At times, I’ve wanted the close bond I’ve witnessed them have and have even asked myself, “Why aren’t me and my mom like this?”
Mother’s Day recently passed, and I saw lots of posts circulating social media about how Mother’s Day isn’t always a joyful day for everyone to celebrate. Many people have mothers who have passed, while others have strained, difficult relationships with their living mothers. There are many women who have yet to become mothers after years of longing to be one.
While I don’t have a strained relationship with my mother, there have been times that we’ve bumped heads in life. And the older I get, I realize that a lot of that has been because we’re so much alike!
As I’ve matured, I’ve realized how much I desire an even closer bond with my mother. As life progresses, I see how much sacrifice has gone into her showing up as a wife, a mom, and a teacher. I’ve watched my mom give so much outwardly when she’s deserved to keep so much for herself. I’m thankful that with time comes understanding and forgiveness, which are key ingredients in lasting relationships. The younger me that always gravitated toward my daddy has evolved into an older me that recognizes I need my Mama! And I’m grateful that God has spared our lives to build and restore a lasting friendship and bond.
Relationships require work, no matter how we’re connected to the other person. I’ve gotten better at voicing to my mom what I need from her in our relationship, and I’m receptive when she tells me what I could do to strengthen the bond as well. Wherever you are in your relationship with your mother, I pray that you never stop working to improve it. Mothers are blessings, and there’s no way we’d be who we are without them!
If your mother has passed, I pray that you allow yourself to experience whatever feelings come up for you. Always be gentle and kind to yourself. While no one will ever be able to take your mother’s place, I do hope that you find other women you’re able to glean motherly love.
All that we are, and all that we hope to be, we owe to our mothers. Thank you, Mama.
Aaliyah Moore is a contributing writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC.