I’m Super, But I’m Not Superhuman: Giving Yourself Grace as a Black Woman

By Nikita Haynie

Black women are powerful. We are nurturers. We make something out of nothing. We are the superheroes of the world. We are all things extraordinary and then some, I’ve even said, “If you ever want to see something go to the next level, let a black woman handle it.”Society has deemed black women as possessing a superhuman strength and we carry it as a badge of honor. We are the laborers and sometimes the labor comes at the expense of forgetting about ourselves. Black women hold a plethora of superpowers, but we are not superhuman. If you’re anything like me, you feel you have to do and be it all and when you can’t, bare a guilty conscious. I want to encourage all my sisters: GIVE YOURSELF GRACE UNAPOLOGETICALLY!

Take a day or days off, the world will deal. Black women are diligent to no avail, but even Jesus believes in rest, so why don’t we? In  Matthew 11:28, Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. (NLT) Yes, rest; it exists and we deserve it. Trust me,  I’m guilty of hustling hard and grinding too, in the same breath, I feel guilty for wanting to rest. However our  job will be fine, the dishes can get washed tomorrow, friends can miss us for a day or two, and the silencing feature on our phone works wonder. We can’t carry the world on our backs nor were we created to. REST SIS, YOU DESERVE IT. 

Learn to say no and feel good about it.  There is power is the word no. Ironically we feel guilty when we use it because we don’t want to be perceived as mean or uncaring. I’d like to offer this one word serves as self-care, more importantly it assists in creating boundaries. Black women spend copious amounts of time being everything for everyone else and then one day we are overworked, overexerted, exhausted and burnt out. FOMO (Fear of missing out) is real, but how many times did you say yes to secretly  wish you responded no? NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE. SAY IT AND LOVE IT. 

Perfection doesn’t exist, perfectly imperfect will do. Black women take pride in being great in every area of our lives and when we miss the mark we tend to beat ourselves up over it; however, even if we don’t complete  everything on our to do list  or accomplish all our goals in specific time frame you are STILL the amazing woman God created you to be. Psalm 139:14 says, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it” (NLT). Be patience with yourself and your journey through life. Life isn’t a race it’s a marathon and more importantly there is more than enough time to shine your black girl magic in the world. PERFECTLY IMPERFECT IS BEAUTIFUL.

 Even the greatest superheros need and deserve grace. Even the greatest superheros need to be reminded, yes you’re super but you aren’t superhuman. How will you give yourself grace that will resonate for today, tomorrow and  lifetime?  My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). We are beautiful black women and that is our super power. Practice grace sis, you owe it to yourself.

Nikita Haynie is a Contributing Writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC.