By Latasha McGill
Everyone reacts favorably with a like or a heart when you are posting about your growth and how God is elevating you to a new level. They are happy to see you taking control of your life and owning your mental health. That is, until, they realize boundaries have become a major part of your transformation. Now, you no longer accept the snide remarks you use to brush off, give explanations, let everyone know your every move, and wait for it, you have realized that the word “no” is a complete sentence and has been a blessing to you. Some of the people in your life are going to test you to see if they can cross your boundaries, do, and say the things to you they once did. I know because I have been there. More than once.
My boundaries are not meant to offend anyone; they are in place to protect my peace and keep me balanced. Not everyone in your life will appreciate this level of freedom you have enacted and that is alright. Boundaries do not have to be explained. They are to be reinforced by you without apology and respected by the people in your life.
Growth can often be a lonely place. That is, because growth is not a one-sized, fits all process. It is subjective and different for everyone. For me, I would not have been able to grow without setting boundaries. Had I not, I would have remained on a hamster wheel spinning around in misery. Some of us are still trying to wrap our minds around all that has occurred thus far in 2020. It has been an emotionally taxing year and it is not over yet. Most of us are doing our absolute best to keep our lives intact and stay mentally healthy during this time. Truthfully, some days are more challenging than others. I have days when I do not want to respond to text messages that are not urgent, I do not want to talk or even be bothered with people at all. Some days when I log off work for the day, I just want to continue watching the One Tree Hill marathon (I am on season 7 now). It gives me peace to just relax and not do anything. I understand people need us at times. However, allowing the same people with the same drama constantly emotionally vomiting on you is draining. It is not my or your responsibility to fix people or even make them feel comfortable by giving them explanations regarding your life.
I love God’s people. And, I love my family and friends dearly. However, I will not hurt me to appease anyone. Setting boundaries means I have added me to the top of my to do list. I am protecting my peace and preserving my energy. This may not please everyone. Nor will they always understand. And, that is okay. We must be intentional about our growth. Everyone wants to grow until they or the people in their lives get uncomfortable. You must decide what level of peace you are trying to attain. The best way to do this is by self-evaluation. Ask yourself hard questions about you and the people in your life. Set the boundaries that will give you the level of peace you need to experience true freedom. The people who matter won’t mind, and those who mind never mattered.
LaTasha Mac is a mom of four adult daughters, a vegan, and a workout junkie who lives by the mantra Whole Person Healthy. It is her journey of total wellness in all areas of life. She enjoys encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring people to discover their own journey of total wellness and seek wholeness and freedom every day. Her favorite guilty pleasure is veggie chips with hummus or guacamole.