Am I An Imposter?

By Chanel Davis

I sometimes get in moods of feeling unqualified to live the life I live. I began to discredit myself from my accomplishments. I began to question myself on how did I deserve to be here? Are you even good enough? Do you even know what you are doing?

From my full-time job to my hobbies of considering myself as a creative being, recently, I just accepted and admitted to myself  I am indeed a writer! I think I placed a false idea of what a great writer looks like, what plight of struggles they should have endured to become worthy of sharing ideas and creating imagery with words. I felt I could not live up to the idea of being a writer.

Years ago, I obtained my degree in Marketing Communication, entailing tons of writing focusing on journalism. I never felt I was someone who would produce or publish meaningful pieces someone would enjoy reading. Who cares to hear anything I have to say or write? I was just another person sharing an opinion. It was not until years later I rediscovered another talent I  suppressed.

I recently proclaimed myself a creative. Creating visuals of my passion with words and taking what storm of ideas and feelings in my brain and being able to conjure a narrative. My narrative. Putting my voice into words for others to read. My writing is more than another collection of words. My writing is my truth. It is my expressive art in putting into words what it is I feel, experience, and think. It is my masterpiece. Art I create that can ever be duplicated with my exact originality. Although I never dreamed of making a living from writing or making it big, I feel success each time I put pen to paper or make noise on my keyboard. I feel accomplished to produce yet another piece.

What is even more exciting, is finding and connecting with other black women who are close in age who are also writers, fearlessly creating and being forerunners for our generation to create a collection in time truths and stories that will forever be a part of our history. Our intellectual ability to suppress reality and indulge in a world we each create a gift to our generation while encouraging them to dream. To dream of being who we are authentically and being fearless in promoting our stories. Creating stories from what our eyes have seen, our ears have heard,  our hands and hearts have touched. Being influenced by our circumstances and surroundings while being the goddesses we are, yet naturally and so effortlessly.

As a lamp or laptop screen lights up my countenance during a late night or the multi-hue sunrise beaming through my window while I create and translate my mental imagines into idioms, I smile. I am so proud to have found an outlet to express what I do not always have the courage or opportunity to speak verbally.

I can use my talent to connect with women and individuals all over the world. Those who I will never meet who can relate to my art. One who finds pleasure in reading and share similar interests. Even the ones who disagree and share no commonality with my works.

I dream, I write. I live, I write. I speak, I write. Writing is my right.

No longer do I fear my words will not be received, I create from my heart. Once upon a time, I once would only dream of being given a platform to express to reach hundreds. I even prayed fervently. Until I stopped waiting to be acknowledged and created my own opportunities. I love how we no longer beg to be in spaces but instead stand up and began building our own platforms to express freely. We started putting the works behind the faith. Even building our own tables. Even if I feel I have stumbled on certain things, I know it all served a bigger purpose. 

So, if you have similar feelings of assuming  you don’t belong in spaces you are currently in. Stop. You are NOT an imposter. You are qualified if you have done the work and have put in the time.

Your presence alone matters. Further extending to your voice and ideas. Share them without fear and stand firm in your position and continue to be amazing. Besides, half of those above and right next you did not even meet the bare minimum or do half the work you’ve completed.

I DARE YOU YOU TO KEEP GOING IN BREAKING DOWN THOSE WALLS.

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Chanel Davis is a Contributing Writer for the Pedestal Project, LLC. Chanel is the creator and operator of the Diary Of A Chocolate Girl podcast aiming to connect with chocolate girls all over through personal experiences and opinions with mild humor and a spiritual flare. Be sure to connect on IG and Facebook @DiaryofaChocolateGirl.